[Vol.005] 28 pieces of advice about life

I recently celebrated my 40th birthday. 🥳

So, I think it’s time to summarize the best life advice I’ve gathered over the past 40 years. 🌍

✋ 1. Set Meaningful Default Actions

Most of the time, we are repeatedly doing the things we’ve always been doing, day after day, year after year. In other words, your default actions are actually controlling your behavior patterns.

Thus, setting new default actions can be incredibly powerful. I found that “changing my default actions” is much easier than “cultivating new habits.”

Here are some examples of setting meaningful default actions:

• Deciding to leave my phone in another room during family meals to be more present in the moment.
• Stopping work after 6 PM.

One meaningful default action I’ve set for myself is walking from my apartment to my office every day. I’ve essentially trained myself to view this as a “new normal” in my life.

😊 2. Lower Your Standards

Here’s my next piece of life advice: lower your standards.

This is my best strategy for dealing with procrastination. Usually, if I’m procrastinating, it’s because I’ve set my standards too high and am aiming for perfection.

In his essay Write Some Stuff, Charles Handy said:

“There’s no such thing as writer’s block. It’s simply the fear of writing something terrible. If you write enough, some good work will naturally come out.” — Charles Handy

If you think you have writer’s block and can’t produce anything good, show me all the terrible writing you’ve done. Chances are, you haven’t written anything messy at all because your standards are too high. That’s why you haven’t created anything yet.

When you find that you can’t get started, that’s your cue to lower your standards. Try to accept the idea, “This might turn out messy.” But that’s okay, because once you start, it becomes easier to continue, and you’ll usually find that what you create isn’t nearly as messy as you thought.

💩 3. Embrace Mediocrity

I believe that we should embrace mediocrity in many areas of life.

This idea comes from the author Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks. In the world of productivity, we often think that as long as we have the right tools and systems, we can do everything we want.

But in reality, there’s not enough time in the day to do everything. We have to accept mediocrity in some areas of life so that we can focus on what truly matters.

I embrace mediocrity in several ways at work. For example, I don’t treat websites like LinkedIn, or TikTok, with the seriousness that I could. I’m also not very active on LinkedIn. Instead, I focus on writing my book, creating videos, and teaching people how to become YouTubers.

It’s all about setting priorities and accepting that you can’t do everything perfectly.

🎧 4. Working with Background Music

This can make studying, working, and getting things done much more efficient. It also makes life feel more vibrant overall.

When I lived in Cambridge, I set up my Alexa smart speaker to play the music of Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran while I walked around the house. Having music playing in the background while doing tasks was incredibly motivating for me.

When I play music while working, it feels like a surge of energy that helps me be more creative. That’s why I highly recommend playing music whenever you have the chance.

🌟 5. Quantity + Consistency = Quality

This next piece of life advice is nothing new to those who are passionate about personal development or those who have read Atomic Habits.

However, it’s worth emphasizing again: quantity and consistency typically lead to an increase in quality.

🖼️ If you want to become better at painting, then create 100 paintings.

🎥 If you want to get better at making YouTube videos, create 100 videos.

The things you create might not be great at first, but you’ll find yourself improving through repetition and practice.

When I first tried to write and create songs, I made this mistake. I was overly precious about a single song and tried to perfect it. Even now, I’ve only written about 7.5 songs because I haven’t fully embraced the mindset of using quantity and consistency to improve quality.

To get better at something, you just need to keep doing it and not worry too much about the outcome.

🎨 6. Quantity + Consistency = Creativity

Quantity and consistency also lead to an increase in creativity. Over the past 25 years, Charles Handy has posted an essay on his blog almost every day. This is truly astonishing.

I believe the more you continue to create, the easier it becomes to get into the flow of creation, and the easier it is to gain inspiration. When Ed Sheeran talked about songwriting, he compared it to a broken water pipe. You have to turn it on and let all the dirty water flow out first (which can take a long time), and then the clean water starts flowing. You need to first clear out all the junk for the good stuff to emerge.

🙏 7. Send Thank-You Notes

My seventh piece of life advice is very simple, yet extremely underrated.

Basically, sending thank-you notes, especially handwritten ones. Not only does it make you feel good, but it also makes the recipient feel appreciated. So I keep a stack of thank-you notes and envelopes, and whenever I feel grateful, I take the time to send one out. I haven’t found a mailbox very close to my home, which makes sending them a bit inconvenient, but handwritten notes always feel so meaningful.

✈️ 8. Don’t Wait for Planning to Take Action

Planning and doing are two very different things. Recognizing this is crucial. I like to use a metaphor (my younger brother Taimur came up with it): being a flight attendant and the airplane.

At certain moments in the day, we need to transform into a flight attendant—just follow the day’s schedule, do what needs to be done. But in the remaining parts of the day, we should be the airplane—executing the flight attendant’s instructions without overthinking the why.

It’s like wanting to exercise. You might do a few random exercises while sitting at your desk because planning and execution take too much energy. However, if you plan to go to the gym, once you’re there, you transform into the airplane, just executing the plan without further thought.

🎯 9. Choose to Feel Satisfied

Like many other high-achieving productivity gurus, I tend to end the day feeling like I haven’t done enough. I wonder whether I could have been more efficient, more productive, and spent less time scrolling through social media.

But this dissatisfaction cycle makes me feel bad, leading to a spiral of negativity. It prevents me from appreciating the fact that I actually got quite a few things done during the day.

So, I realized that I can choose to feel satisfied with the progress I’ve made. Even if nothing else changes, I can still choose to feel different and better.

⚡ 10. Seek What Energizes You

Whether it’s work, hobbies, or relationships, we should seek out things that energize us rather than those that drain our energy. This is a mindset that’s useful in almost every situation.

For example, if I’m invited to a party, I might think, “Hmm, I don’t really want to go.” I ask myself, “Will going to this party energize me, or will it drain me?” Often, even if I don’t initially want to go, I push myself to go because I know that once I’m there, I’ll feel energized and have a great time. But once I know something will drain my energy, I find it easier to say no.

This is a simple question, but it’s incredibly powerful: “Will this energize me, or drain me?”

👫 11. Fantasy Novels Are Amazing

My next piece of life advice is to try reading more fantasy novels.

Fantasy novels are absolutely amazing. Every time I recommend Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series, people love it and become die-hard Sanderson fans. In fact, I’ve had deep conversations about the series with Uber drivers and other people.

If you’re looking for a great audiobook, Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book is a fantastic choice. He himself narrates it, and he’s an exceptional narrator. So, if you’re just starting to get into fantasy novels, I 100% recommend these. I actually have a video where I discuss my favorite fantasy novels.

🧼 12. Don’t Use a Towel to Wipe Your Face

A very practical piece of life advice: never use a towel that you’ve washed your body with to wipe your face. Towels can pick up strange things that you don’t want coming into contact with your face, which can cause acne.

In fact, since I started using face wash regularly, I’ve noticed that my skin has become clearer. If I’m out and don’t have any face wash, I’ll pat my face dry with clean paper towels after washing.

🧴 13. Establish a Skincare Routine

I’ve been in touch with my friend Usama, a dermatologist in SJZ City.

As a dermatologist, he tells me that 95% of truly scientific skincare advice can be boiled down to just a few recommendations. All those Instagram/YouTube/TikTok skincare influencers are really just repackaging a few core principles under different brand names and buzzwords.

He said that, basically, the earlier you start caring for your skin, the better off you’ll be as time goes on. So now, I follow a suitable skincare routine.

To keep it simple:

• Apply sunscreen every day, year-round, with at least SPF 50.
• Always moisturize, especially after washing your face.
• Learn about retinoids, as they help keep your skin plump and youthful.
• Use a good cleanser, but don’t go overboard.

Since I started doing this routine about 6 years ago, people have started to comment on how much better my skin looks.

⏰ 14. Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day

My next life tip is to wake up at the same time every day.

There’s a lot of solid research showing that irregular sleeping and waking times can disrupt your circadian rhythm. So it’s best to stay consistent, even if you go to bed late the night before, and wake up at the same time every day.

If you stick to a regular wake-up time, you’ll naturally feel like you’re in sync with a good rhythm, waking up around the same time each day. You can learn more about this by checking out the Huberman Lab podcast episode that dives into the science of sleep.

Even after sleeping in late the second day, I find that my energy throughout the day is lower than when I follow my regular wake-up time, even with just 5-6 hours of sleep.

📚 15. Keep a Kindle on Your Nightstand (Not Your Phone)

I’ve been doing this for quite some time, and after mentioning it in a video, many people have told me that it’s changed their lives too.

Basically, don’t put your phone on your nightstand. Put a Kindle on your nightstand instead. This way, you won’t end up browsing Twitter or Instagram. All you can do is:

• Read in warm light mode on your Kindle
• Or go to sleep

🚫 16. Don’t Hit the “Try Harder” Button

If I struggle to accomplish something, I often find myself wanting to hit the “try harder” button.

The “try harder” button is basically telling yourself, “I’ll try harder, I’ll be more disciplined, I’ll be more determined.” But this rarely works because it’s unsustainable.

It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking that tomorrow we’ll suddenly have an amazing amount of willpower and discipline. But that will never happen. Instead, it’s far better to adjust your environment and system so that you don’t need to rely on willpower. Atomic Habits by James Clear explains how to make small changes in your surroundings, so you don’t need to constantly “try harder.”

🎭 17. Turning Your Passions into Currency Can Be Fun

People often say you shouldn’t turn your passion into currency—that just because you like baking cookies doesn’t mean you should open a bakery.

But in reality, turning your passion into currency can be a lot of fun, especially on a small scale. For example, I used to be an amateur magician.

For two years, I practiced magic tricks in front of the mirror and my friends, but it wasn’t until I tried performing them for real, stepping out of my comfort zone for the first time at a scheduled performance (for a wedding), and performing at parties that my magic (and social) skills improved to the next level.

Turning your passion into currency forces you to focus and take it seriously.

⚔️ 18. Passion as a Double-Edged Sword When Monetized

Turning your passion into income can often bring joy. I’ve spoken to some YouTubers who genuinely love making videos, especially when they are doing it part-time. However, when their passion becomes a full-time job, it sometimes transforms into work. When money becomes the motivator, it can crowd out other, more fun pursuits (like “building a creative life”).

The solution to this is diversity. It’s essential not to make your passion your only source of income and to find other ways to pursue your creative interests (like love, I suppose—this risk is relatively low).

🎯 19. Aim for Gradual Retirement

This is something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately. Naval Ravikant once said: “Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for some imaginary tomorrow. When you’ve saved enough money, become successful, and are willing to stop doing what you don’t want to do, you’re retired.”

If you agree with Naval’s definition, retirement isn’t that hard to achieve. There are three ways to approach retirement:

• Make enough money so you don’t need to work to retire.
• Spend less money so you can live like you’re already retired.
• Do work that you’re willing to do for free so you feel like you’re already retired.

What I’m currently doing is a mix of the second and third. I’m lowering my expenses and finding work I think is fun.

🌱 20. Enjoy the Value of Each Day

I think the key is to enjoy the value of each day, rather than using it as a stepping stone for something bigger. For example, “If I complete all my work today, what will that enable me to do tomorrow?” (The imaginary “tomorrow” that Naval mentions.)

When I was in medical school, many of my classmates found their studies boring, tedious, and dry. But they assumed that life would become interesting once they became doctors, that being a physician would bring fulfillment. But this was often not the case, and life as a doctor was no more thrilling than life as a student.

That’s why it’s essential to change your mindset and enjoy the value of each day. Working toward a goal is great, but at times, you can tell yourself, “This one day is good enough” — it’s a profound sense of gratitude.

👋 21. Take the Initiative in Social Situations

This life advice will dramatically improve your social skills: always take the initiative in social interactions.

I’m often part of group chats where people invite others to play board games or go for casual strolls, but there’s always a bit of hesitation because you have to be bold enough to say yes. Every time I accept such invitations, I think, “Wow, this is so wonderful.”

If you don’t take the initiative to accept these invitations, these experiences won’t happen.

💆‍♀️ 22. Invest in Your Relationships

In How Will You Measure Your Life, Clayton Christensen points out that most long-term successful people underinvest in their personal relationships.

He recalled his MBA classmates—highly accomplished individuals with impressive careers and lives. They all succeeded through traditional means of professional success. But at his 30-year reunion, Christensen said that many of them were surprisingly unhappy, some were estranged from their families, and a few had even ended up in jail.

So, why did so many bright and accomplished people end up on this unhappy path? His conclusion was that most of it stemmed from not investing in their personal relationships. We should build and nurture relationships with the people we love.

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🤖 23. Default to Non-Work Activities

One thing that Christensen said that reminded me to be more mindful is: when you have an hour of free time, don’t automatically default to work-related activities. Using your time to be productive is great, but even if there’s no immediate return from investing in relationships, it’s a long-term investment that brings profound rewards.

So lately, whenever I have an hour of free time, I’ve been spending it on catching up with friends, sending messages, and relaxing, rather than putting more energy into work.

🌞 24. Exercise in the Morning

I find that exercising in the morning makes me feel more energized.

This is a huge benefit, especially if you exercise outdoors, because:

• It wakes you up and gets your blood flowing.
• It keeps you energized all day.
• You’re less likely to engage in unhealthy activities for the rest of the day.
• You won’t need a pick-me-up in the evening since you’re already active.

😡 25. The Pain of Rejection Is Better Than the Pain of Regret

The pain of rejection is always better than the pain of regret. So, seize the opportunity. Handling rejection can feel tough, but it’s always better than wondering “what if?” This is one of the latest life lessons I’ve learned.

My friend Zivie even keeps a digital chart of all her rejections, turning it into a game to see how many she can collect. It’s a fun way to get the most out of her efforts. If you’re constantly getting rejected, you know you’re truly pushing yourself toward success.

📚 26. Even Your Favorite Book Will Get a One-Star Review

I’ve heard that when authors release books, they’ll browse Amazon or Goodreads only to find one-star reviews for their favorite books.

It’s a simple truth: everyone’s tastes are different. Even if you think a book is amazing, there will always be people who dislike it.

This truth can be freeing, reminding me that creating is about expression, reality, and enjoying the process, regardless of the feedback.

🚂 27. Work on Trains

I love working on trains or while traveling by train. There’s something about trains that makes it easier to focus on finishing tasks. The train’s movement feels like it’s pushing you forward as well.

I find that I think, “Wow, I love trains.” In the last couple of hours alone, I’ve managed to get a ton of work done. Why doesn’t this happen in other places?

⚔️ 28. The Journey Is More Important Than the Destination

My final piece of life advice is to focus on the journey, not the destination. This is a quote from Brandon Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archive series.

You must have a destination; without a destination, there’s no journey. But once you’ve set your destination, it’s usually best to forget about it and focus on the journey. Enjoy the present moment.

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