7 Steps to Build High-Value Connections Without Necessarily Socializing

May 2, 2024
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Leveraging the internet and targeted interactions to build valuable connections without the need for extensive socializing.

1. Understand Introversion and Social Skills: Realize that being introverted doesn’t mean you can’t socialize. Socializing is a skill, not a personality trait. Many people use “introversion” as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable situations, but it’s important to face and overcome these challenges.

2. Utilize the Internet: The internet allows you to connect with billions of people. You only need one piece of content to reach the right audience. When the right people see it, they’ll contact you and appreciate the value you provide.

3. Strategic and Consistent Engagement: Engage in meaningful and targeted social interactions with people you like. This is how you can break through the social media noise and maintain long-term connections. If you don’t socialize, you’re already losing out.

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I was born an introvert.

In college, I rarely initiated conversations. Even today, I still keep in touch with friends from that time, and we reconnect easily when we do meet. I rarely spoke up in class or attended those “networking events” that others found so valuable.

I was not interested in any of that.

I preferred staying in my dorm, immersing myself in video games, while also managing my side hustle—a thriving YouTube channel.

To be honest, I gradually realized that being introverted doesn’t mean being antisocial. Socializing is actually a skill, not a personality trait. However, many people use “introversion” as an excuse to avoid necessary social interactions for success.

That was during my college days, but now, we are at the center of this new stage called social media.

I have tried several ways to gain fame for myself.

First, through my YouTube channel.

Then, through photography and art pages on Instagram (you can find my Instagram at the bottom).

Third, by establishing multiple agency networks and e-commerce brands, utilizing social media marketing strategies.

Finally, I unexpectedly discovered Twitter.

Yes, Twitter, which I originally thought was only suitable for political discussions and half-joking memes from Reddit.

But one day, a tweet from Jose Rosado suddenly appeared on my timeline. I don’t remember the exact content, but it involved the harsh truth about self-improvement, which I really liked.

I started following Jose and found that he also talked about online business, another area of interest to me (this is also why you shouldn’t limit yourself to a narrow niche, but should integrate more interesting things into your life!)

By following him, other accounts started appearing on my timeline. Soon, I was immersed in the high-value “money Twitter” threads.

I silently observed for about six months. During this time, my freelance business also achieved some success. The tips and tricks these accounts shared helped me greatly.

Then one day, a thought flashed through my mind:

“If they can write such great tweets, why am I just scrolling through them while they are clearly gaining potential clients, selling, and enjoying sharing their other interests?”

This question completely changed the course of my life.

The Digital World Has No Boundaries

In the past, the only way to reach the top was through your personal network.

You can’t just send a perfectly crafted message to someone and expect them to willingly pay you four times your service fee (that’s the ideal scenario).

This is the complete English translation of both pieces of text you provided.

You must go to school.

Get good grades.

Apply to prestigious university that may require you to relocate.

Moreover, you must be proactive enough to gradually advance in social networks until you encounter someone who presents a perfect opportunity.

Most people will be limited to working hard for those they meet.

Now, opportunities are everywhere.

That tweet you just scrolled past? They need a video editor.

That person you found in the comments? They want to learn how to be happy.

That YouTube video you thought was buried? It provided the crucial steps to starting my freelance business, as long as you have the persistence to continue.

The internet allows you to reach 4.9 billion people who can use it.

You only need one piece of content to reach the right corner, allowing the right people to see it, contact you, and pay for the value you provide.

Of course, as you grow your audience sharing your content, it becomes easier, so we didn’t want to rely on this initially.

Networking—although I hate this word—was the cornerstone of my digital success.

Jose Rosado was one of the first people I connected with.

We hit it off immediately, and he helped share my content. I eventually invested in his coaching program (about three years ago).

Jose and I have different views on online business, but that’s the point. We each have unique paths to share, and both have valuable experiences for others to learn from.

Another example is my friend Joey Justice (I will fly across the country to see him again this year).

I met Joey in a group of people who were trying to grow their brands at the time. We planned together, shared our content, and worked together to improve the skills we wanted to be rewarded for.

Last year, Dakota Robertson, JK Molina, and I moved to Texas together.

I also met big names like Justin Welsh, Sahil Bloom, and Dickie Bush.

In short, maintaining consistent and targeted social interactions with people you like is how you break the social media game (and keep growing).

If you don’t socialize, you’ve already lost.

Ask any creator who has truly grown their account continuously (and hasn’t fallen into the resentment cycle of playing against the game) whether networking is important.

If they don’t consider it a crucial factor in their growth, then I don’t trust their wisdom.

The Power of DMs

DMs are a way for you to showcase yourself to anyone on the internet, especially if you don’t have an audience yet.

Freelancers understand this well; you can find clients, but are you building a network of valuable audiences along the way, so you’re not left stranded when you decide to pivot?

I have seen people find jobs this way, make their tweets go viral with a few followers, and in the process, gain hundreds or even thousands of followers.

People generally fall into two camps:

•   They don’t understand the immense power and network effect of consistent DMs.
•   They don’t realize you can use strategies to have larger accounts share your posts.

DMs are a way for beginners (or anyone wanting more traffic for their content at any time) to network, grow, and gain attention for your content.

However, most people are terrible at DMs.

Honestly, this is a problem.

Never expect a response if what you send is just:

•   Hi or hey
•   Hello
•   Can you follow me back?
•   A direct sales pitch unrelated to anything
•   A long text that takes too much time to read (especially if it’s not broken into sentences)

You need to approach DMs with strategy. Especially when you contact an account that receives 10 or more DMs per hour and may not check them often (they usually skim through to see if there is anything important).

7 Steps to Asynchronous Networking

This process initially started as a viral Twitter thread and later became a module in a digital economy team. It was then used to help people gain attention in my writing course (2-hour writer) for their writing.

This is foundational, and we will use this to ensure immediate growth in our Solopreneur Sprint.

Knowing how to communicate and DM the person you want to connect with will open up opportunities for paid work, social networks, and meeting high-level individuals. You can use this strategy:

•   Have an account with 50,000+ followers retweet your thread, leading to massive growth (similarly applicable to any other social media platform to share your posts).
•   Connected people will share new growth strategies with you (Dickie Bush sent me a LinkedIn tip the other day, and I felt obliged to report this).
•   Join or create mastermind groups to start forming your base (you will spend most of your social media journey with them as you grow together).
•   Get your name in front of more people. The more people who know you, the more work and potential connections will be sent your way. Ensure your name appears in front of as many people as possible.

Here are the 7 steps to asynchronous networking:

1.  Find someone you really want to DM.

This is not only about building connections. This is crucial for paid work as well. For service businesses (such as freelancers and agencies), if they don’t have common ground with clients, their lives would be like living in hell.

Contact those who:

•   You are inspired by
•   You want to collaborate with
•   You want to plan with
•   You see mutual benefits with

When you are just starting, you need to climb step by step. Start by DMing those within your follower circle.

If you don’t know whom to DM, I assume you haven’t started yet. Consumers and creators have completely different perspectives and social media content.

Once you have an audience and influence, you can truly contact anyone and get a passionate response.

Where can you find people to DM?
The “follow” list of accounts you like.
Or in the reply areas of your mentors (if someone is replying, it means they are trying to grow and network).

These are the main two areas to find people, without needing any flashy background tools.

2.  Send them a heartfelt compliment.

Find some of their content, work, or current project that you are genuinely inspired by. Send it to them and tell them how it resonated with you.

This requires you to truly like their work.

People love compliments – based on the principle of reciprocity, they will feel obliged to return the favor in some small way.

An example for managing emotions in a tweet:

Hey, Dan, this tweet really moved me. I’ve been going through something similar over the past few days, and this moment gave me some clarity. Thank you. [Add a link to the post you like]

It’s that simple.

3.  Show interest in them

If they don’t respond, you can contact them again in the same way.

Showing interest is Networking 101 – showing interest makes you interesting.

Ask them:

•   Their goals
•   What they are building
•   What work they do

This gives you the opportunity to provide value (even if you don’t have value to give right now).

Let’s assume you get a typical “thank you very much” response.

Now, you can find out what they are currently doing from their profile, or directly ask them.

If you find out what they are doing:
Do you have any plans for the next step? Watching it grow crazily, I’m very curious about what you have planned.

If you don’t find out what they are doing:
Is there anything you are currently building? With that kind of content, you must have some big plans.

4.  Lead with value

This is where most people stumble.

Your first choice is to:

•   See where you can help
•   Send actionable tips
•   Send resources, systems, or videos you created or noted down

Don’t proceed with a direct transaction before you have given anything.

If you need more questions to send better actionable tips or resources, just do it.

Through resources, I mean YouTube videos, articles, or anything that might help them or interest them.

If you have no value to offer, you can:

•   Send a resource that can help them achieve their goals
•   Connect them with others in your network
•   Continue good conversations and express interest
•   Show your interest in helping them

5.  Connect more deeply through conversations

This part is optional, but recommended. You can skip directly to step 7 in a few days, but I recommend practicing all these steps at some point.

That face-to-face interaction is invaluable. No one can see your personality or style through text.

When I started, I always wanted to have Zoom calls with people I wanted to understand better. This is more common than you think – when people realize you just want to understand them, they are usually open to this.

You can also take conversations to places like Telegram and send voice messages, making yourself appear more personable. Most social accounts use Telegram and WhatsApp groups for communication and planning.

6.  Follow up with value

Remember their goals and note any content, resources, or advice you can send them. When you find something useful for someone, send it to them.

I think telling them your plans (their projects or goals). Today, I found this, and I think you will find it helpful.

“This” can be a YouTube video, article, or a lead magnet you discovered, or someone you can connect with who might be able to help them.

7.  Request a follow-up

By this time, you have built a fairly stable connection. You have given enough value for them to be ready to reciprocate. From here, you can:

•   Ask them to join a mastermind group
•   Send them a post you spent a lot of time on
•   Ask them any specific questions without having to pay for consulting fees

If your plan is to use their audience for growth, make sure to write a post they would want to share. Then, you can send it to them and suggest they share it.

Hey, I just wrote this and think you’ll like it. It’s inspired by our previous conversation.

Don’t ask them to share it. Let them decide how they want to participate.

Even if you don’t get a direct share or mention, any involvement helps more people see it and helps you grow. (This isn’t just about Twitter. Everything we discuss applies to any social media platform, and they all have similar structures.)

You should connect with them every day. If you immerse yourself in environments that interest you, you should see the compliments and interests of the people you want to connect with every day.

If you want to increase the chances of large accounts responding to your DMs – before contacting them, follow them and interact with their content for a few days. This way, they will become familiar with your face and personal profile picture.

8.  One final tip

“Dan, won’t this take a lot of time?”

Yes, obviously.

If it takes you four years to find a job unrelated to your degree, and another 10 years to find a job with a reasonable salary – then building your dream will take time.

This sounds harsh, because the “uncertain” path of forging your own way is the quickest solution; people are just short-sighted.

If you understand that DMs will become a part of your life, and when you need to be responsible for your future, you should develop this habit now.

The same applies to writing.

If you plan to write every day in the future, why not start writing every day now? Because you haven’t received any rewards? So you’re going to expect rewards by writing for free? Are you serious about these things?

Organize your things well.

Just like what you see, I feel quite combative today.

Drank too much coffee.

I’m off.

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